The Top 5 News Stories of 2019
Of all the narcissists in the land of the free and home of the brave, who was the most narcissistic over the past 12 months?
2018: CNN (as exemplary of all the media)
2017: Donald Trump
2016: Hillary Clinton
2015: Donald Trump
2014: Obamacare Architect Jonathan Gruber
Who not only believed in some insane application of Social Justice, but made real steps in reality (ha!) to “make a difference”?
2018: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for making socialism cool again
2016: The Fidel Castro Eulogizers
2015: Bernie Sanders (everything he does) and Yale Students (history revisionism) (tie)
2014: Buzz Feed’s Ariane Lange for her article 12 Female Characters Who Keep Shaving Despite Constant Peril
Who did the most Tom Brady thing and excelled when everyone said he/she/it couldn’t? Maybe Tom Brady?
2017: The anonymous creator of Bitcoin
2016: Zack Snyder for the Ultimate Edition of Batman v Superman
2015: Tom Brady
2014: Tom Brady
What event or accomplishment would reduce Zack Snyder to awe to the point that he could only call it awesome? Don’t use Snyder’s metric. Use your own and trust that he’s as awesome as you are.
2017: The New England Patriots for their comeback in Super Bowl LI
2016: Uber & Lyft leaving Austin after the city passes anti-ride-share regulations
2015: Carrie Fisher for her defense of slave Leia
2014: Firestone for fighting Ebola in Africa more effectively than any government did
Who created the greatest work of Romantic art in 2019?
2018: Brad Bird for Incredibles 2
2017: Patty Jenkins for Wonder Woman
2016: Damien Chazelle for La La Land
2015: Bryan Fuller for Hannibal
2014: Christopher Nolan for Interstellar
This award belongs to the Midsiders. Out of all of the stories we covered, which do you think is the most farcical of all?
2018: Thanks for not raping us all you good men, but it’s not enough
2017: Straight Black Men are the White People of Black People
2016: University Safe Space Training says accepting homosexuality is homophobic and Professor: If you read to your kids, you’re unfairly disadvantaging others (tie)